Darren Hoyland - Blog

Darren Returns

So I got back from the IBAGS conference with every intention of updating this blog, but I had been working so hard and the thought of looking at another computer screen ever again made me feel sick, so I gave myself the weekend off and we went to see my parents. Come Monday, I look at my email again, only to find that I had another mini-conference on Wednesday (not the following Monday as I had thought). Queue another all night graph-making session, followed by three days of listening to other people talk about stuff I know nothing about (My talk was equally baffling for them and, if I might add, quite boring. Even for me. Who's work it was on. And who wrote and presented it). I got back on Friday, and the urge to play Comman & Conquor 3 was so strong that I didn't write anything. After completing it, the urge was then to do anything and everything other than what I was meant to be doing and it was so strong that I even tidied the house. I don't know at what point writing to my blog got lumped in with work, but after focussing on one task for so long, it seems my brain is rebelling and refuses to do anything even remotely work like. I seem to have gained the work ethic of a French union boss.

Today, I have no more excuses not to do any work, and so, after staring at my computer screen for about 6 hours, I finally managed to convince it to let me blog, but only because it's not work and I've run out of non-work things to do (Really, there isn't a video left on YouTube, a webpage about anything even remotely futuristicy or an article on the BBC website I haven't seen).

So for the passed (or should that be past?) month (almost), I've not blogged* a thing because I've been too busy. However, because I've been so busy, I've been thinking about everything other than what I should be thinking about and so I've had loads of stuff I want to blog ("Oh the irony", etc etc). But that's okay, I thought in my infinite wisdom, I'll just compress it all down to post-it note level and come back to my notes later. I'm sure this would have been fine if I had then written it up whilst at one of the hotels I stayed it, but it seems that I was too busy networking. By networking, I obviously mean drinking with work colleagues until stupid o'clock and then unexpectedly standing up merekat style and announcing "Right, time to network", which, as accounted back to me the following day, meant staggering up to some poor German postdoc who had been momentarily left alone, plonking myself down next to her with a "Hello hic I'm networking" and then ignoring her and talking across her to Mark for the rest of the evening, which thankfully for all parties concerned, was brief as it was 4am and the bar was closing.

So, now I'm here at my PC and I can't remember a bloody thing about what I wanted to write about. Well that's not true, I remember most of the stuff, and this might explain the sudden influx of out-of-date and no longer topical posts that are sure to follow this one (probably), but there is one note that I wrote during that 30-hour sleep deprivation session where I did most of the cutting edge neuroscience that went into my IBAGS poster (remind me to reanalyse those results). It simply reads:

"Rel. Cage. Food twister. Gk."

So there you have it. That little gem of wisdom is so clear that I don't think I even need to write about it any further.....

WHAT DOES REL CAGE FOOD TWISTER GK MEAN?!?!?!?! It could be the cure for bloody cancer or anything!

Ah well, another potentially meaningful insight lost to the world. I s'pose it's my fault or putting things off. Honestly though, I don't know where prolific bloggers get the time to ... well, blog prolifically. I had the same problem when I used to write a diary. That and the fact that my mother kept sneaking into my room to read it. I had to burn them in the end, which was a shame, 'cos now I will never know the exact date when I first grew pubic hair. Tragic. My next attempt at recording my life was making video diaries. I think they call it vlogging or something silly like that now. I don't think I've ever watched one back. I bored myself to tears whilst I was recording them! Writing stuff down is definately the way forward. This way, you get to keep some elements of spontaneity but it still comes out in a nice structured and polished form, and most importantly, doesn't have me going "erm, um, argh" every five minutes.

* - Is 'blog' a verb. The act of blogging. To blog. I guess so. But hang on, isn't short for web-log? Well, I suppose it kinda makes sense**.

** - Wikipedia says it is - hooray! Well, I'll be able to sleep tonight then. How exciting.

Darren Hoyland, Wednesday 19 September, 2007
Tags: blogging, ibags, late, general mutterings, tales of ineptitude